February 4, 2016

A Break from Writing...

Dear Readers,

Last year I was forced to take a much-needed 'long' break from writing. I say, "forced," because honestly my heart and brain had no intention of working together. I tried to fight it. Hide my heartache behind the pixels of a screen to wash away the realities of the world. I soon found out, you can't do that. No matter how hard I tried to forge my way forward, it showed in my writing.

This wasn't a sabbatical with revelatory found. It was an opportunity to be with my family and friends. No, scratch that. It wasn't an opportunity. It was time. Something we all take for granted. I'm not going to start spewing revelations or harp on people to stop taking life moments for what they are-life moments that you'll never get again. Everyone has to come to that realization for themselves. What I am saying is that I had the unfortunate reality of finding out life can truly, honestly, and wholeheartedly suck!

I don't know how my sister and brother-in-law continue getting up every morning and plastering a smile for others. It just isn't fair! Yes, I know life isn't fair. But dammit, why? Why are there so many allowed to walk on God's green earth, who are full of formidable evil, and my perfect fifteen-year-old nephew spent seven and a half months battling brain cancer and lost? He deserves to be here! Not, the asshole's of the world! I'm not trying to be cynical, but yes, there's animosity and anger in that tone. But don't worry, it's something we all have to deal with from time to time. And I'm honestly not full of rage that some might construe as denying or believing in God's plans. I know he has plans for all of us. It's just hard to accept when he takes the 'good' ones.

My point is here, I tried to write and couldn't because I needed to spend quality time with the ones I love and most importantly, help my children heal (which doesn't fall on some premade schedule). It's a process we will continue to learn to 'cope' with for the rest of our lives.

I began writing again, in case you're curious. It happens to be a manuscript I started last February and hope to finish it this year. It's a romantic suspense thriller. One I'm beginning to love all over again. I'm also reworking my first three novels to 'tighten' them. Thanks to the help of an amazing woman. A novella is also in the plans for A Destructive Novel Series. It's Evan's story. I'm hoping to finally get the entire series into one book for young adults. It's a dream to have teens read it. It's relevant and could possibly help a teen feel as if they're not alone. I know these issues happen. Maybe not to everyone, but too many to chalk it up.

I guess this is more of an explanation to my readers as to why I didn't publish in 2015. There's no way I could've published last year, even if I tried. And trust me, I tried! 2015 will forever be marked by one thing. Publishing felt wrong and unfaithful. One day I hope to get all the answers I'm looking for. I know God is waiting patiently to sit down with me. Until then, I'll try my hardest not to question his intentions and pray Jake is playing football, video games and practicing his martial arts for the day he can show off his skills to his parents.

So, enjoy life and those you love. Do I dare say it? Yes. Life is short, a lot shorter than we all realize!

LU Ann

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